


Remember, Beloved, Please

by Gabriels_Mourning



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5222273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriels_Mourning/pseuds/Gabriels_Mourning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has found Morgana again after all this time.<br/>He's not going to let her slip through his fingers again, at least not without telling her how he feels.<br/>But he can't get her to come to him without hiring her for the night.<br/>And your first time should be with someone you've waiting an eternity of lifetimes for, shouldn't it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember, Beloved, Please

He took a deep breath on the other side of the door.  He’d taken off his tie, but it still seemed to grip tightly around his throat.  He let the breath out slowly and steadied himself.  For a split second, he looked at the minbar, but thought against it.  He wasn’t a drinker by any means, but the momentary lift to his spirits would have helped.  He was a nervous wreck, and had been ever since he’d found her.  He opened the door in a swirl of sudden courage and the woman looked up, her face breaking into a smile.

She was stunning.  Her hair was black and artfully messy in the way that only the most beautiful women can manage.  Effortlessly trailing down the side of her neck and over her head like an inky black waterfall.  Rimless glasses showed eyes that were a rich golden brown, which didn’t seem right, but they were still beautiful.  Dark mascara gave her a smouldering, alluring look that instantly darkened his mind.  She wore white jeans and a jumper that slipped down one shoulder, showing creamy skin that made his mouth water.

“Hi.  I’m your Anna, until dawn.”  Her voice tugged at memories he’d long forgotten, a lilt of soft caress.  He opened the door wider and tried not to breathe in too deeply as she walked past.  She turned and smiled at him invitingly over her pale shoulder anyway.  She looked him up and down as she took the apartment in at a glance, noting the dark glints of the cityscape through the glass, his business slacks and white shirt and jacket.  Her eyes lingered on his face for a moment, and a glimmer of recognition passed there, for just a moment before fading away.  He tried his hardest to keep his heart from thundering out of his chest.

“Is this your first time?  There’s no shame if it is.”  He gave a half smile as he took her jacket and hung it up on the peg before handing her a champagne glass.  Her mouth twisted into an irresistible smirk as she happily gripped the stem, noting the effervescent bubbles streaming off the strawberry he’d dropped in before answering the door. He’d spliced the strawberry into a fan, and it looked like a fruity Mohawk nestled in the bottom of the glass.  He took a drink of his own, a soda and lime with fresh raspberries and touched it to her glass.  Her mouth quirked again and he couldn’t help himself.

“It’s my first time with _you_.”  Again she smiled indulgently.

“You’re quick.  Witty.  You don’t have to worry about it.  I’ll make sure it’s memorable.”  She sat on the edge of the couch and touched the glass to her lips again.  “Without much awkwardness, if you’re honest with me.  Guys like you are always a little… different.”  He cleared his throat as he put the glass down, tasting the faint fruit juices on his tongue.

“Guys like me?” 

“Hmm.  The sweethearts.  So, I’m a stranger to you.  Tell me about yourself.  Tell me who you are.  What’s your story, your tale?”  He was confused for a moment as memories of her gasping pain flashed across his eyes.  But that had been another life.  Another time.  Another woman and another him.

“Like what?”  Anna leaned back, touching the glass to her lips, dark painted red that didn’t come off on the glass.  She licked them as she stared at him, and he couldn’t help the sudden intake of breath. 

“Secret little things, about yourself.  About who you are as a person.  Intimate things.”  He sat down in the office chair and looked at the desk, even as he leaned back, rolling the drink in his hand, watching the bubbles spit up into the air over the berries. 

“Why do you need to know that?”  He wasn’t averse to telling her, and she could see that, but was honestly curious.

“The more I know about you, the easier this will be.”  He echoed her smirk for a moment knowingly.

“That’s a fine thing to say.”  She tapped a slim fingertip against the flute of her glass. 

“You’ve got me for the night, sweetling.  We have the time.  So tell me about yourself.  What do you like about girls?”  He blushed, which seemed to delight her further.  Her brown eyes flashed at him.  They were very wrong, no matter how beautiful she looked. 

“Um.  It’s not that.  It’s just…  I’m not usually that intimate with anyone.”  She gave a sudden peal of bright, bubbling laughter that brought sharply into focus how he wanted to kiss her.  He wanted to taste the bubbles on her lips, the sweetness of the strawberries.  Another flash in her eyes, not of magic, but of something deep and bright within her.  The real her.  Not this pretend version.  Pale and beautiful, but still an imitation only.

“You don’t need to be shy, sweetling.  That’s the beauty of paying for it.  You’re guaranteed to get laid.”  He smiled softly then, still shy after all this time, and nodded slowly, giving in.  The victory meant something to her, he knew, but he didn’t know what, or what it meant.

“What do you want to know?”  She leaned forward; her pale skin and dark beautiful hair curved around her chin.  She looked so seductive, and yet so approachable.  He wanted her.  He’d always wanted her.  Was this wrong?  Was he taking advantage? 

“When you look at a girl, what do you look at first?  When you’re imagining things… when you touch yourself…”  She somehow lingered her lips over the last few words, and he couldn’t stop himself from blushing.  She grinned in delight, which softened into a smile.

“What parts of a girl do you think about?”  He cleared his throat and tried to look as if he needed to consider it as he stared at her longingly.

“Her hair.  I like long hair.  Curls.  Tendrils.  I like hair with tendrils, wayward curls.  Wild hair.”  She leaned back slightly and ran a lock through her pressed lips, showing her smile.  Her hair was, somehow, even better than he’d dreamed of. 

“Her face.  I like women with expressive passion.”  She mouthed that with her smirk, which was growing more enticing by the second.  Her lips moved sensually against one another in almost unconscious seduction.  He swallowed his voice as his teeth shuddered nervously.

“How do you like them to act?  Slutty?  Alluring?  Demure, seductive… sweet?”  He thought about it and considered her again.  How to explain it without making it clear that she was his every fantasy?

“Um.  Seductive.  Challenging.”  She frowned, but with a smile.

“Challenging?”  He couldn’t push it out of his mind quick enough, the thought of her grabbing him and dragging him into stone archways and alcoves.  The pure, challenging lust in her eyes, as if she was daring him to ravish her.  Gods, he thought.  How he wanted to ravish her. 

“You like thinking they want to rip your clothes off.”  It was a statement, and not a question.  She smiled knowingly and nodded.  She was getting dangerously close to…

“Speaking of clothes, anything like that get you going?  I do a really hot schoolgirl…”  Gods in heaven.  He could feel himself leaking against his upper thigh.

“Maybe next time.”  Her head tilted again and there was that smirk, which twisted into a considering pout.    

“Hmm.  I don’t have many regulars.  That might be good to change.”  She delicately dipper her long fingers down the champagne glass, empty now, and picked the strawberry up by its stem, pinched between two fingernails.  She held it out to him and he took it, heading to the adjoining small bar to refill it.  He cut another strawberry and fanned it the same way, and she raised an eyebrow at him and smiled in thanks.

“I have to ask.  Why do you do this?  It’s not bad or anything, but it just seems… beneath you.”  She shrugged.

“It’s a living.”  He turned back, making himself another lime and raspberry.

“It gives you control.  That’s the kick, isn’t it?”  There was a slight chink as she set the glass down and began to laugh breathily.

“You’re thinking too much.  I’m making you nervous.”  There was a slight lilt to her voice and he sucked a raspberry out of his glass and chewed it thoughtfully.

“You don’t think you’re getting under my skin enough.  Trust me, you are.  You did from the second I opened that door.”  She played with the stem of the glass, rolling it between her fingertips on the table top. 

“I know I’m getting under your skin, sweetling.”  He pulled at his earlobe for a moment as he considered her again.  He could feel a seething lust under his skin as he looked at her.  He wanted to worship every single part of her, delve deeply into whom she was, what she tasted like.  Darkness swirled in his eyes for a moment and she stared at him lustfully.

“Dinner?”  It seemed offhand, but there was an intensity to her question.  “Seeing as we’re dessert,” she teased.  “Something to put you at ease.”

“I _am_ easy.”

“That’s my line.”  He stared at her for another moment, overcome with just how beautiful she was before he turned back and gestured nonchalantly to the massage table set up near the bathroom.  Unlit candles sat around and under it, with fresh towels and warming scented oils in small bowls on the ledge beside it.

“How about a massage to start?  I was told it’s an intimate speciality of yours.”  She moved forwards and began to undress him slowly from behind, pulling his jacket off his shoulders and languidly undoing the buttons as she graced her fingertips over his skin.  He wasn’t build muscle, but there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him.

“You’re after an intimate experience?”  Her breath licked at his ear like warm oil, and gooseflesh erupted down his spine.  He could feel her breath on the back of his neck. 

“With you, yes.”  She gave another low laugh and then a few contented sounds of admiration as she pulled the white shirt off his pale skin. 

“You’re an interesting one.  You’re so bold for moments… but then it’s gone, like a breath in the wind.  You’re intriguing.”  He looked at her over his shoulder, and she stared up at him.  He was quite a bit taller than her, but her gaze wasn’t intimidated.  It was evocative.  Heat rose up his spine, where her fingers pressed against him.

“Is that a good thing?”  She shrugged, artfully showing off more shoulder bordered in her wild black hair.  Its scent came up to him, like lavender and apricots, both heady and light at the same time.  It sauntered across his tongue when he breathed in through his mouth, tasting her.

“It is for me.  Normally…  Well, let’s just say I’m not normally intrigued.”  She led him to the massage table and helped him lay down on his back.  She hummed to herself in approval as she looked through an iPod she brought out of her bag and made a few selections in a quick playlist.  Merlin watched her undress slowly until she was standing in thigh high black nylons with green bows and snaps that made his fingers itch.  Black lace with green highlights that matched the bows on her nylons continued up into a tight corset that cupped her body perfectly.  More deep green highlights contrasted with the black lace.  Crisscrossed patterns made his eyes wander over her body, and she reached up and pulled a hand through her hair, teasing it out a bit as he watched.  He slacks were difficult in coming off, encumbered by his hardness. 

Wordless music started, slow and tranquil as her hands started on his, rubbing oil into his fingers and relaxing him.  Soon enough, her hands drifted over his body and she leant down, brushing across his skin with her hair and lace covered skin.  His hips twitched upwards and the towel moved towards her smile as she gave low sounds of contentment.

He moaned low against her and his hands twitched.  She reached up and held his hand, moving it to her backside and letting him know she wanted his hands to wander more.  He squeezed hard and she moaned open mouthed as if he was touching her precisely where she wanted him.  Her hand squeezed him through the towel and he couldn’t help himself, he reached up and tilted her head towards him.

“Because it’s your first,” she breathed at him as she kissed him.  It was intimate and soft; a kiss between lovers.  There was no pulling back and away, and both of them folded into the kiss, enjoying one another and the intimacy that seemed so simple between them. Without breaking the kiss, Anna moved herself onto the bed and it creaked alarmingly.  She pulled back with a smile and he nodded, easing off the table and picking her up.  She blanched for a moment at his urgency until he moved behind the bar and into the bedroom.  Cool sheets slid back against her skin as he laid her down on the bed.  The towel fell away from his hips at her hands and then she was pulling him up between her thighs.  He touched her wetness and his hips gave a twitch.  Anna ran her thumb tip over the eye of him and he gasped deeply as she squeezed.  She guided him onto his back and moved on top of him, rubbing him against the lace folds of her panties.  The rough scratch over his sensitive head ripped a cavernous moan from him and she spread the panties to the side and slid him inside of her.  He gasped at the wet heat and his hips bucked again as she eased her hips further down his length and began to ride him.  She pulled a condom out of her bra and opened it as he gasped, and pulled off him, leaving him cold and wet and hard.  She squeezed him again as she rolled the opened condom onto his shaft and rolled it down, running her tongue along her finger once she brought it back to her lips from him.  He gasped as she slide him back inside of her and began to ride him harder, her hands dancing over her hips and rocking herself down onto him.  He didn’t last long and couldn’t stop, exploding into the condom and filling it, spilling over as he gasped and shuddered, his whole body tense. Sweat broke out as she continued to ride him, and his thighs began to cramp as he felt himself burning without heat.

“It’s not even midnight,” he moaned, feeling the endorphins roaring through him as he caught his breath.  Anna shrugged, her nipples poking out of the corset teasingly for a moment.  He moaned.

“I told you I’d make it memorable.  We’ve got all night to explore what you like now.” She kept moving on him slowly, almost rolling her hips back and forth like a dancing snake.  It didn’t take long and he was firm again inside of her.  Her rolling hips built up a rhythm until his teeth were aching from pressing together so hard.  Her mouth curled up into a delectably sexy smirk and she slowly raised her hands, gliding them over her body.  He watched hungrily as she spread her hands wide and cupped her breasts, squeezing her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers as she kept rocking.  After a moment, she closed her eyes, looking lost in the sensations she was rocking into herself.  Her mouth opened wider and she started to gasp breathily as her hands moved up her neck and began to run through her hair. 

The sight drove him further onwards than he could handle, and he surged upwards, holding her to him and crushing her mouth to his.  After a moment, her hands dug through his hair and pulled him closer, even as she pushed him back down into the bed.  His hands gripped her with possessive, bruising force and rocked her hips back and forth on him.  Anna shuddered and bit her lip and he lost control, pumping himself into her rapidly and exploding again.  As the wave of tense heat pushed through him, he became aware of screaming pain in his back as his body shuddered.  Anna let out an explosive breath as he spasmed and gasped beneath her. 

“Cramp,” he growled between his clenched teeth in explanation as she looked at him from beneath the curly masses of her wild hair.  She gave another of those breathy laughs and eased off of him, letting him stretch out.  He gave a slight start when she wrapped a hand around his softening length and pulled the condom off him.  She was stepped off the bed and then was back in a moment, her hands smelling of the bathroom’s hand wash.  He was stretched out, his long frame tucked in the sheets and a hand strewn across his eyes. 

“I’m not a virgin anymore.”  The bed moved underneath her as she slid into the sheets with him, sitting up and wrapping them around her. 

“More importantly, on your first time, you helped your lover come.”  He laughed low and her felt her fingers touch his too thin frame, running along his ribs, but more in a soft caress.  He twitched as she found a ticklish spot and lifted his arm to raise an eyebrow at her.

“I had no idea what I was doing.  But I’m glad if you enjoyed it.”  Her smile broke his heart in two and fused it back together between heartbeats.

“I knew you were a sweetheart.”  There didn’t seem to be anything he could say to that, so he stretched to the side, hoping to work out the tense pain of the cramp.  Anna gently put pressure low on his spine, urging him over onto his stomach. 

“How about that massage I promised you?”  He nodded and rolled over obediently, and her hands, warmed by her breath, were running up and down him.  She wasn’t firm, but constant, relaxing him and then giving him a slight shiver of pure pleasure as she dragged her nails down the sides of his spine gently, just scratching, not scoring.  Heat followed her nails as he gave a contented moan. 

“That feels incredible.”  He could smell her hair in his sigh and opened his eyes.  He rolled over under her thighs and stared up at her.  She ran her hands down his front and eased off the bed, disappearing in the sheet, leaving him brazenly naked.  After a moment, she reappeared with one of the bar stools and grabbed a pillow, letting the sheet slip for a moment.  He watched the side of her breasts tantalise him for a heartbeat before she laid the pillow down on the end of the bed and patted it.  He lay down gently, facing up, and she rewrapped herself in the sheet.  Some of the scented oil from one of the burners was in a small bottle in her hand, and she poured some in and rubbed her hands together, beginning to give him a head massage slowly, rubbing her fingertips over his ears and cheekbones, before moving to his scalp. 

“This is amazing.” 

“I’m trying to get a bonus.” 

“You’re after my soul?  It’s yours.”  Her fingertips massaged over his scalp and down the back of his neck, cupping his cheeks with her hands and then the scent of her hair surrounded him.  Within that enclosure of black tendrils, he leaned up, hoping for and finding her kiss.  Softly, she kissed him, their inverted faces somehow perfectly aligning.  He could feel it.  Every second without her had been worth it, if only for that kiss.  It wasn’t even the lovemaking, it was her tender intimacy.  He couldn’t take it any longer.

“Morgana,” he breathed in a lost, desperate need.  She stopped and stared at him, pulling back.  When he opened his eyes, they were shining gold. 

“You’re in my dreams… I’ve dreamed of this.  Who are you?”  She didn’t sound afraid, but stared at him as if she were about to remember.  He had nothing left but need for her.  And nothing left but hope.  He lurched up and kissed her, letting her feel every moment he’d ever spent without her, every single moment of need he’d ever dreamt of her.  Her fingers spread out, cradling his face in her hands as he opened his mouth wide, drinking her in.  His eyes opened and so did hers, and the brown was flickering like yellow lightning was shooting through it.  Every flash of light and tears of green ripped open in the brown irises. He opened his mouth and Morgana couldn’t help but feel too much as tears rolled down his razor sharp cheek bones.

**_“Mymere, leÓf,  óleccan…”_ **

Light shone from her eyes and into his, gold meeting gold until her eyes flashed back into their evocative, deep green.

“Merlin.”  Irish brogue was magic to his ears, but her startled face leaned back and he whirled around, sitting up in the bed and staring at her. 

“Morgana…”

“What are we doing?”  Merlin shook his head. 

“I love you.”  She looked around them at the motel room, her eyes still wide with shock.

“Where are we?”  Merlin took another deep breath and reached out to her.  She didn’t shrink away from his touch, but she was still frailly trying to take everything in.

“I…  Morgana.  I need you to know that I love you.”  She finally looked back to him and stared.  After a brief moment, her lips quirked for a moment, almost into a smile, but still not quite.  It was understandable, given the shock.

“What are we doing?  Merlin?  Everything’s changed.”  She reached out and he grabbed her hands, kissing her knuckles.  She squeezed in a moment of frustration and then he edged forward, coming to the lip of the bed.  Morgana looked about them in confusion. 

“I love you.  I want to be yours.”  Her green eyes, how he’d missed them, locked onto his own.  She softened and breathed deeply.  Hesitatingly, she leaned forwards and kissed him slowly. Lingeringly.  Merlin smiled against her lips and the princess softly smiled in return.  She looked at him more confidently, but there was a question in those eyes. 

“You’ve brought me back.  I’ve been watching for so long, I’ve seen everything.  And you’ve brought me back.”  Merlin moved his head from side to side for a moment, rustling her hair as she leaned against him.  

“Sort of.  New body.  Same soul.  Just needed your soul to remember your mind and body.  You were buried in your body, but now you’re back…”

“Hush,” she admonished in a whisper, kissing him absently. Merlin found those to be the most distracting. 

“You brought me back.  And you love me.”  Merlin nodded against the side of her face.  He held her, waiting for his penance.  Whatever she said, whatever she spoke to him of, he deserved it. 

“Yes.  Always have.”  Her eyes were turned away from him, but his arms were around her waist, not restraining her, but ready to let go.  If she wanted to leave him, he’d understand.  He’d have to.  At least she was alive again, and knew who she was.  Morgana… always complicated him.

“Everything you did… Everything I did…”  Here it came, he thought.  Dejectedly, his shoulders slumped.

“Please… forgive me.”  She didn’t answer him straight away, but she didn’t pull away.

“I don’t know if I can ask you do that for me just yet.  No matter my crimes, I…  For all you ought to have been there for me, if you loved me.  Everything could have been so different.”  Merlin nodded against her and kissed her neck.  Morgana gave a slight noise of soft intimacy and he buried his face in her hair.

“I’m asking you to forgive me; I’m begging you for that.  I’m… you’re much more than just my regrets.  I’m not really worth your forgiveness and I certainly don’t think you need to ask it of me.”  Morgana took that in for a moment and then her hand moved to cover his.  Their fingers intertwined and her thumb moved across the back of his palm.  Morgana’s face turned to his, and her aquiline nose urged his chin up like an insistent puppy until he met her eyes and she kissed him again. 

“Let’s start with the little things, Merlin.  I… I wouldn’t hate you so much if I didn’t love you more than a little.”  He tried to think about that, but she kissed him again, chasing the dark thoughts away. 

“I don’t understand,” he admitted.  Her smile was wide and sudden, and Merlin again felt his heart break and fuse together again between heartbeats. 

“And I hope you never do.”


End file.
